You May Have A Drinking Problem If…

You have to hold onto the lawn with one hand to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interferes with your drinking.
Haven’t stopped drinking since Kennedy got elected.
Beer Ain’t Working Anymore.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet lid.
You get angry when someone asks if you have drinking problem.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case – not a coincidence?
You have a beer theme webpage
They say “Norm!” when you enter the bar.
You can’t remember where your family is… or if you even have a family.
When you can see better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have changed while you were inside the bar.
All woman you see have a twin.
Your favorite drink has a skull and two bones on the bottle.
You discover in the morning that all your liquid cleaning products have mysteriously disappeared.
Your two sons are named Barley and Hops.
Have a “Spuds McKenzie” tattoo.
Believe a six-pack of beer has just as many calories as a good dinner!
Alcohol: it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Your only friends are Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Jose Cuervo.
Vampires get tipsy after biting you.
You find you have shaved your head and sell flowers at the airport.
You believe the only drinking problem you have is not having a drink right now.
At twelve step meeting when its your turn to talk you say: “Hi, my name is…uhmmm…”
Your idea of cutting back is less soda.
Throwing up makes you feel better.
You wake up too sick to start drinking.
Your certain the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.
Every evening you’re beginning to think your house mate’s cat is more and more attractive.
All you remember is, “Do you take this woman”
Finding traffic cones on your hood.
You lose arguments with mannequins.
My Whiskey bottle’s empty…that’s the problem!
Can’t recognize wife unless you look through the bottom of a bottle.
You drink to get over your hangover.
Your name is Ted Kennedy.
You have a porcelain bus driver’s license.
You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
You find yourself in a bar on a train pulling into Chicago and the last thing you remember is being in a bar in Atlanta!
Job interferes with your drinking.
Your blood type is JB positive